Xiaobian, I loved the way you let us keep the magic without asking us to keep believing the old lessons hidden inside it. That distinction at the end felt important to me. Growing up doesn’t have to mean becoming cynical about fairy tales, only learning that love doesn’t require us to wait in a tower, sleep behind thorns, or become beautiful enough to be chosen. And that empty chair was such a beautiful part of this… a life can be whole before anyone takes the seat across from us. 🫶
Thank you, Per. You found the distinction I cared about most here: I didn’t want growing up to become another kind of disenchantment. I wanted to keep the shimmer, while loosening the old bargains hidden inside it—the idea that love must arrive as rescue, reward, or proof that we were finally worthy.
And I’m so glad the empty chair stayed with you. For me, it was never an argument against love, but against postponing wholeness until someone takes the seat across from us. A life can still make room for another person without treating the empty seat as evidence that something is missing. I think that may be the gentlest version of growing up I know. Thank you for seeing that, Per. 🫶
Xiaobian, I loved the way you let us keep the magic without asking us to keep believing the old lessons hidden inside it. That distinction at the end felt important to me. Growing up doesn’t have to mean becoming cynical about fairy tales, only learning that love doesn’t require us to wait in a tower, sleep behind thorns, or become beautiful enough to be chosen. And that empty chair was such a beautiful part of this… a life can be whole before anyone takes the seat across from us. 🫶
Thank you, Per. You found the distinction I cared about most here: I didn’t want growing up to become another kind of disenchantment. I wanted to keep the shimmer, while loosening the old bargains hidden inside it—the idea that love must arrive as rescue, reward, or proof that we were finally worthy.
And I’m so glad the empty chair stayed with you. For me, it was never an argument against love, but against postponing wholeness until someone takes the seat across from us. A life can still make room for another person without treating the empty seat as evidence that something is missing. I think that may be the gentlest version of growing up I know. Thank you for seeing that, Per. 🫶
🫶🫶🫶